Tag Archives: motherhood

Let Sleeping Babies Lie

12 Jul

Nap time is one of the most welcome times of the day! Myles is SUPER busy, on the go every second that he’s awake. His naps are a welcome opportunity to eat, shower, or even just sit still for a few minutes. I used to run around and try to be “productive” during his naps but now I take it as “mommy time.” I like flipping through a magazine, perusing wedding sites and now blogging.

But for all the parents out there – have you ever been paralyzed with the fear that your kid will wake up “any second” and therefore you get nothing done? I’ve seen many hours of precious time slip away because I was fearful of starting something when it seemed like Myles was on the verge of waking up but then ended up sleeping for 2 hours as I stood there in anticipation almost the entire time. Sometimes I do enjoy just watching him. I think God made babies exceptionally cute when they sleep so that you forget just how much they test your patience when they’re awake!

But I’ve learned to enjoy all time to myself, be it 5 minutes or 3 hours. I’ve also taken the pressure of myself to be “productive.” No big deal if I don’t work, clean, cook, do laundry etc. I’m embracing and enjoying this down time. Now, when will it no longer be frowned upon to enjoy a glass of wine at 1pm? =)

The “babymoon” is over…

14 Jun

Several friends, co-workers and acquaintances have had babies within the past year. Being the first of my core group of friends to have a baby naturally means I am the “expert.”  My vast 22 (almost 23!) months of experience as a mom clearly qualifies me to answer any and all questions related to babies. HaHa! But I did experience so much of what most of them are going through now and I’m always happy to listen and offer advice when asked. But this is something I always share:

When the babymoon is over. I think it happens anywhere between the age 6-9 months. It includes some or all of the following:

  • All the adrenaline (if you ever had any) has completely worn off and true exhaustion is setting in.
  • The rest of the world isn’t as sympathetic as they once were to you being a new parent.
  • No one at work really cares that you’re not sleeping.
  • Everything is sort of returning to normal and while you’re baby remains the center of your world; you realize that everything cannot revolve around your baby. However, the baby is now starting to become mobile, no longer complacent just being held or sitting in bouncer or the car seat in a restaurant. So everything does still sort of have to revolve around the baby.
  • The offers to babysit start drying up (this may happen a little later). For us, what’s worse is when so many friends we’re offering we were still in the obsessive stage of just staring at Myles and never wanted to leave. Now that we would occasionally like to see a movie or grab sushi, the pool of friends begging to babysit is just about empty.

Things just really start to change. Remember the beginning of romantic relationships? Up all night talking, dropping everything and everybody to spend time together, etc. – all that fun stuff can’t last forever. It doesn’t mean you love each other any less it just means you have to return to the real world. The honeymoon period has ended. I think the same thing happens with your first baby. I was just as obsessed with Myles at 6 months as I was the day he was born – probably more. But I also had to work and run our home and have some couple time and have some alone time, etc., etc. This new reality can be a little depressing and overwhelming but it’s totally normal. At least that’s what I’ve told myself and all my new-parent friends. Because remember, I’m an “expert.”

To any parent – did you experience this phenomenon? If so, when did your babymoon end?

Cleaning House

8 Jun

Literally. Well, I’m not actually cleaning but I’m paying for it. We broke down and hired cleaning ladies. As a pregnancy gift, my fiance hired a cleaning couple (husband/wife team – they were awesome). I was exhausted and had zero energy to clean and admittedly, he had no desire to pick up the slack so his proactive approach was to hire someone. We continued to use them sporadically until Myles was about 4 months old then I decided it was more important to save the money.

Saving money was (extremely) important as new baby expenses piled up but truth be told, I had several other “issues” with hiring someone to clean. I’ve always wondered, “is it just me?” My fiance always gave a resounding “YES” to that question. But here were/are my concerns:

1) I’ve always had issues with people in my personal space. I’ve never liked having others in my bedroom, even as a child and teenager. In college, after one semester of sharing a dorm room, I begged my parents for a single. I’ve dismissed some of this as “only child syndrome” but these feelings are very real. So the thought of a stranger making up a my bed literally makes my skin crawl.

2) The cost. If Suze Orman ever reviewed our finances, this would be one of the first things she would eliminate. Does it really make sense to pay someone to do something we are totally capable of doing ourselves?

3) The guilt. This is the big one. There is part of me that feels like a failure or less than because I can’t manage to keep my house clean on my own. People with more kids, larger homes and even more demanding jobs do it – why can’t I? My mother and grandmothers did it – why can’t I? My soon to be mother and sister-in-law do it – why can’t I? I feel like if I were just more efficient with my time or more organized, etc., etc. then I could keep our home clean without any help. Is this crazy?

But fast forward a year and between and active toddler, our jobs, planning a wedding and some effort to have a social lives, the house was a mess. All the time. For several months I noticed two women leaving our neighbors place every other week. About a month ago, I saw them again and ran outside with our dog to “conveniently bump in to them.” After a quick convo, they came over the next day.

The reality is – it’s awesome! These women come in and get after it, cleaning every nook and cranny. In just 3 hours this place is sparkling and there is nothing like the feeling of a clean house. Again, a tremendous burden is lifted of my shoulders and it’s so liberating to wake up on the weekends without my “cleaning ticker” running. It has meant more quality time with my family. It’s also supposed to “free up” time for other projects like organizing my home office, cleaning out closets and converting the nursery into a toddler room. More on all of these things later.

So for now I’ll get over it. The guilt is a small price to pay for a clean house!